Deciding Where to Pursue Surrogacy
As an agency that facilitates surrogacies in the U.S. and abroad, we at Nest Egg wanted to say a few words about surrogacy in the United States and acknowledge some of the tremendous advantages to pursuing surrogacy here.
For one thing, the doctors (and their staffs) here are the exceptional. Aside from making the dreams of thousands of intended parents come true, they are true pioneers in the field of fertility, even developing some of the techniques used by our partners abroad. We work with physicians and clinics that boast some of the best statistics in the world. No matter how many years we work with them, we are constantly awed by their professionalism, knowledge, leadership, passion, and empathy. (And for a list of some of our favorites, click here!)
In addition to world-class medical care, the laws in the U.S. (at least in surrogacy-friendly states) make surrogacy a clear and legally easy process. Unlike some countries that prohibit single parents and/or LGBT parents to pursue surrogacy, the U.S. allows anyone to become a parent through surrogacy. Additionally, our agency is located in California, and one of the benefits of surrogacy in California is that both intended parents’ names will be listed on the birth certificates without consideration of gender or marital status. We are proud of the progression of those laws and the opportunity to help all types of intended parents.
Of course, there are also the obvious advantages to surrogacy in the U.S.: cultural familiarity, ease of language, and physical proximity among them. Choosing to do a surrogacy in the U.S. also allows for more face-to-face time with your surrogate, her family, and the doctors involved. And let’s face it: Psychologically, there is no question that pursuing a surrogacy in the U.S. is just an easier concept for an intended parent to wrap their head around.
There is, however, one type of intended parent the U.S. is sometimes ill-equipped to accommodate and that’s the intended parent who simply cannot afford to do a surrogacy here. The intended parent who, in spite of negotiating lower fees with doctors, agencies, or even a surrogate, just doesn’t have the money to move forward. The kind who’s been through round after round of IVF and is all but tapped out financially. The kind who has taken out loans, started crowd sourcing pages, and even taken a second job but still can’t afford it. The kind who needs to find another way or give up on the dream. We in the industry often say that “Love makes a family” but the truth is, when it comes to the actual cost of surrogacy, money and love need to work together.
Make no mistake: We think the U.S. is an exceptionally wonderful place to pursue surrogacy and many would argue is the gold standard for the world. But as industry professionals who have met time and time again with intended parents who cannot afford surrogacy, heard their stories, and felt their anguish, we wanted to make sure we were being thoughtful about finding solutions for them as well. That is why we facilitate surrogacy both here and abroad: So that anyone who wants to can fulfill their dreams of becoming a family.